Should an adult stepson who moved back in with parents be allowed to alter bedroom?

A 23 year old college student near the end of his degree left school, unhappy with his career choice, to move in with my wife and I for over a year while he takes more classes toward a different field of study. He is a good kid, bright, energetic, hard-working, and decent, his most annoying habits being to stay up all night on the computer and to constantly question everything we do, and make frequent suggestions on how we should run our finances and home. Trying to be helpful, he decided to rearrange his mother's kitchen and discard five trash bags of kitchen things that he thought she should not need. He does not abuse drugs, alcohol or cigarettes or get into trouble with the law, and helps out a great deal by making meals, buying groceries, and cleaning up. He now wants to change "his bedroom" into some sort of miniature movie theater/video game room that would involve putting lots of holes in the wall and ceiling. I said "no" and am now in the doghouse. Am I right or wrong?

Should an adult stepson who moved back in with parents be allowed to alter bedroom?mr messed up

If its your house and your paying for it then he has no right to change anything. He sounds like an extreme control freak. I would say no to everything. Tell him if he is that bored to get a job to pass his time.

Should an adult stepson who moved back in with parents be allowed to alter bedroom?getting late opera theater

It is your home, they paid for it, he did not.

It is your responsibility to take care of their property and chances are if he alters it and harms the structure for his own pleasure he will not be the one to fix it back correctly the way it was.

He will be on you're own one day soon and then he can do as you please, but now you need to respect them.

If he does not want to respect you, do not let him move stay there.

You were not wrong. And the person that put you in the doghouse should come up with the cash in advance for repairs if they think it is such a good idea.
if it depreciates the value of the home i'd say no because it's an investment risk to the homeowner.

he should understand that if he's so concerned with your finances!
I know your wife is mad. She is mad because you questioned her love, her son. It sounds like he is a good boy, maybe you can draw up a written agreement that says he will return the room in its original order when he leaves. In today's world most youths are abusing drugs or alcohol, count your blessings. I think the contract should makle everyone happy, good luck!
You are in the right. He has moved into your house. He may be helpful around the house and all that. But, if he wants to make changes of any kind, he should get his own apartment. There are plenty of University students out there on their own who work part time. Or, you can do like a lot of my fellow class mates parents did and give him a living expense while he is in school. It's really no different than supporting him at home. Some parents didn't pay their kid's way 100% they gave them an allowance and if it was not enough to meet the life style they wanted, then that's when the part time job comes in. I worked my way through school. So I know any one else could do it too.
She was mad that you didn't talk to her about it first,try talking with your wife again,and coming to some kind of understanding with your stepson.
I'm just opposed to this whole "problem" we have in our society of young adults staying at home with their parents. There are a few scenarios where it might be needed but they are rare, and one thing that needs to be the case is that there is a clear and known understanding before it even happens as to how the relationship and behavior of the young person will be. If you don't want these holes then stick with your answer of no. He's there to redirect his studies, not to become a hollywood producer. At the same time, perhaps there is a way you can agree to have it all fixed when he moves out, I don't know if that's a possiblity or not.
he is home till he find a new degree then he will probably move back out so why do that to your house ITS YOUR HOUSE NOT HE'S he is 23 i say kick he's *** out and when he gets he's own place pay backs abitc h
Dear Fido: Join the crowd. Many of us end up in the dog house over issues when children move back home.

Things to be thankful for: no drugs, drinking, cigarettes, jail time,

helps out with the groceries, meals and cleaning up. (I could send you my nephew but I wouldn't wish that on anyone).

Options: Sure you can change your room but here is a contract for you to sign stating you will repair any changes to the room that I don't feel is appropriate. Here is the savings account book to start depositing the money in for the repairs. Any money left over will be reimbursed. End dog house problem and those pesky fleas

No you can't change your room. While I respect you for all the assistance and the fact you are being a responsible adult this is my home and I feel that I would be uncomfortable with the changes. If you can figure out how to change your room without altering the basic room.. come to me and we will put our heads together.
I agree with you. It's your house, he should respectully ask, and be respectful when he get's a "no." I think you should give your wife the silent treatment for not taking your side. J/K.
It is essential at this stage of life he learns a bit of what are his rights. He has to be conveyed this in a very crisp and categorical manner with a lot examples from your life. How you become what you are. As he is a genuine guy he will be able to make a meaning out of those examples. He is a growing individual with a lot of dreams to be fulfilled. He needs to understand, to fulfill those dreams he has to stand on his own,earn and then spend as he wishes. Generally we try to solve our problems without understanding the environment which is responsible for the source of them.